Fishcake
by Bon Sen
Summary: A Naruto parody.
1. Fishcake

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Naruto is owned by Shueisha and Kishimoto Masashi.

**1**

**Fishcake**

Once upon a time, in a land where men (and women) exhaled fireballs and summoned tsunamis, there was a boy named Fishcake. But thankfully this is _not_ a story about a boy named Fishcake.

This is the story of a man. To his people he was the Fourth Hokage, the leader of his village; to his enemies he was the Yellow Flash, an unparallelled warrior for whom a flee-on-sight order was issued; and to his wife, Kushina, he was Minato, a husband who was never quite good enough.

This was mostly his own fault. You see, Minato was a genius. Like all geniuses he excelled in a specific field; unfortunately, like most geniuses he lacked one very important thing: common sense. Every now and then in day-to-day life he would say or do something stupid. Today was one of those days.

Minato lay in bed next to his wife rereading his favourite book, _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Ninja_, which was just as bad as the title made it seem. Minato greatly admired the protagonist, Fishcake, for his undying determination. Somehow, this led him to suggest, "How about we name our child Fishcake?"

"Let me think about that for a second. How about," Kushina said, pausing in mock thought. "No."

"But—"

"It's bad enough _that pervert_ is his godfather. The last thing we need is for everyone to think, 'Poor thing, his parents are hippies,' every time they hear his name."

Minato sighed, _he_ thought it was a good name, but his wife was right. She always was, even when she wasn't. He had learned early on in their relationship that it was pointless to argue. He had won an argument once, he never made the same mistake again.

He was disappointed, but in the end there wasn't anything he could do about it, so he rolled over and went to sleep. Tomorrow, he had a village to run.

**A/N**: Chances are I won't think up anything funny for a long time and if I do it won't have anything to do with Naruto. Heck, for all I know this isn't funny. That being said, I'll keep this story in a dark corner of my mind in case I do. Just don't get your hopes up if you enjoyed it.

-Sen


	2. A Fine Job

**TWO**

**A Fine Job**

Running a village was surprisingly simple. The hard part was picking the right people to run it for you. Thankfully, Minato always had an eye for talent.

Strolling towards the Hokage's office he passed by the newly instated head of the Konoha Council.

"Orochimaru," Minato greeted. "It's nice to see you up early again today."

"_Some_ of us are busy running the village," Orochimaru said bitterly.

"Heh," Minato chuckled, ol' Orochi always had a sense of humour. "Keep up the good work."

Orochimaru it turned out was a little too good at his job. Bloody genius. He hoped the restructuring of the entire political sector would have kept Orochimaru busy, but the Sannin had the details stamped out in record time. What should have been a year long process was completed in the span of six months. Thankfully, Minato was also a genius. And he always had more grand designs in mind he could set Orochimaru to. But for now he had more important matters to attend to.

Walking through the door, Minato plopped down on the Hokage's chair. The past six months of his tenure had been tough. Day after day he had toiled to get everything just right and today he'd finally reap the rewards of one of his pet projects. As he thought about all the blood, sweat, and tears that had been shed, his mind wandered back to that day when it had all began.

_"You have all been chosen to become members of the Hokage Guard Platoon for a single reason: your aptitude with space-time ninjutsu. Starting today, I'm going to teach you how to use the Flying Thunder God technique."_

_For a moment the members of the Hokage Guard Platoon's eyes were wide with shock but then an enthusiastic reply resonated forth. "Yes, sir!" they shouted in unison._

_"Now, here's how it goes..."_

It had been a hard six months filled with struggles but they'd finally mastered the technique. He couldn't be more proud of them. The culmination of all the blood, sweat, and tears they had shed would finally materialize today.

As the clock struck seven, three konoha ninja appeared before him, their arms locked in a triangle. In unison, they went to one knee with their hands clasped in front of them and their heads lowered.

"Hokage-sama!"

"Do you have it?" Minato asked impatiently.

"Yes, sir!"

Their leader, Raidou, stepped up and presented him with the brown paper bag. He reached for it gently and pulled one of the golden-brown muffins out of it. As he bit into the muffin's soft crust, the dough melted in his mouth. "Ah, that's the stuff." Minato said. "Straight fresh from Hot Spring Village. It doesn't get any better than this. Don't you think so, Raidou?"

"Yes, sir." he replied; although, Minato thought he detected a hint of dissatisfaction.

"Is anything wrong? Were there any mishaps on the mission?" Minato questioned.

"No, sir." The reply was a bit terse but it would do.

"Good, you're all dismissed for the day. After the fine job you've all done, you've earned some rest."

After the three ninja had taken their leave, he took another bite out of the muffin and savoured the flavor. A fine job indeed.

**A/N**: My writing is kind of sloppy for this. I didn't want to use the -sama suffix but I got lazy. There were also some descriptive passages I was thinking about writing but didn't. Well, it's not like this is some literary masterpiece or anything, right?

-Sen


End file.
